i knew it was gonna be hard but...

one week back in my hub and i'm already in despair..... ok maybe it's just anxiety to do well fast...or maybe it's just monday blues... whatever it is... i'm feeling lowww... bleah. sales sales sales... i know i'm being a bloody whiner but cut me some slack and give me some airtime.... i need to whine every grievance out and imagine the worst before i can move on... weird aint it? But it's pretty effective actually... imagine the worst and it just gets better.... yup! I'm currently doing offshore clients.. which means that if i'm given the wrong or obsolete contact number by the bank... i can never ever reach them... so that effectively cuts out perhaps 30% (or more) of my port... another 25% probably hates my pitch AND my voice...and the remaining 45%? I haven't tried.... i'm screwed......... i'll achieve 0 revenue even after 6 months, lose my job and my self-confidence...it will be a long time before i can ever face or step into a bank ever again (see...this is my whole "imagining the worst" thought technique... i have to go through it... it's part of the healing process...)

anyway i've got 2 weddings to attend these coming 2 months and that's nice =) friends that i've known since i was very little..now all grown up and starting a family of their own... sweet. plus i'm gonna be a bridesmaid for my good friend vivien's wedding... we SO gonna tekan her since she's always so sweet and proper... don't even get me started on her fiance n his brothers... *evil laughter* hold your horses gentlemen... you gotta get past the girls first hehehe

ok i've managed to distract myself from my worries for a bit... time to fight the battle again tmr!

yoga....gawd

did my first yoga lesson this evening... and oh my gosh is my body's all twisted up in knots... my sis warned me about it before and i thought nahh...it must be just that she's really unfit and ahem old (hah) BUT it's definitely harder than i expected...yoga is not meditative at all!!! i spent half my time struggling with poses and the other half trying to keep up...it's not all stretching n breathing... no way... i remember doing a lot of squats n kicks...but in a yoga-ish way... madness... after half an hour..i swear my muscles packed up and went home without me.... my legs went totally rubbery and i thought to myself..omg there's half an hour more..........AND i'm going back next week for more! hehe...

just signed up for my first gym membership so hopefully my fitness regime thing is finally kicked in...here's to a slimmer me!!

finally completed training

wow stanchart training is no joke... it feels a bit like a mini degree..crash course on banking and finance... mortgage was tough enough and wealth class is mad! but u know something...i really learnt a lot..and now i'm quite committed to reading up more about market news daily...really wanna achieve the level whereby i can read an article on bloomberg and fully understand what the hell they're talking about....it makes me wonder how the hell i got by last time as a PB not knowing much abt the market...guess it shows how much pride i took in my work in the past... =p

anyway i'm jealous as hell of my batch girls and ex colleagues who are stuck in milan, zurich, london, paris and amsterdam coz of the ash cloud...stranded in beautiful europe and paid extra allowances per day...the best deal ever man!! sobz...why didn't this ever happen when i was still flying????? there are many places i wish to be in again........wistful..

for now...let me content myself with the fact that i'm "graduating" from training tmr... finally give my brain a rest ( one day where i don't have to think about market updates, which currency to quote up or down, calculating ratios and dsr and so forth) and just listen to what lies in store for me in this wonderful bank that's..here for good hurhur
back to hitachi tower prob only on wednesday since i haven't completed my elearning modules...sheesh

my sweethearts

not so rockin

being anti-america ain't a stroll in the park for sure... i have (guiltily) consumed KFC (but KFC in singapore is technically singaporean-owned coz it's a franchise right???) watched hollywood movies on tv (but not in the theatres!! at least i made a statement there) ate Canadian pizza during training (BUT it's Canadian. that's NOT US. Totally excusable if you ask me) drank coke once at my sis's bbq (but she had nothing else to drink other than stout..eww) So other than that... i have been pretty much the avid local n asian supporter.. eating tze char and drinking barley n many others in that category. Not bad already. Darren was the bigger sinner. He had a WHOLE macdonald's meal. that's like THE no-no. MacDonald's like the mecca of US evil. tsktsktsk. The weak-willed can't help themselves sometimes...

oh my god how long am we supposed to keep up with this "fuck-america" business? has it only been a week or so??? anyhow training has been a nightmare... mortgage is suuuuper dry n i have never structured a loan before.. it's pretty intense stuff... calculating the monthly payment is easy, calculating DSR is alright as well....but hell when it comes to bridging loan, OD and equity loan...all the figures start getting all jumbled up..it tempts me to go right back onboard to serve coffee/tea again....BUT i know it's good for knowledge and stimulates my rusting brain..so I ENDURE!! All i know is i plonk onto my bed every night before 12 and am fully dead to my core...both brain n body.

oh oh cleo's home with me....and she's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute...firstly, she bounces rather than walk.. she loves toys that are bigger than her.. and she gets pissed off seeing her reflection in the mirror..nikki hates her..but then again he hates everyone..i can't wait to bring her out for a walk! ok i gotta eat my dinner now... THAI... not american. so there!

the lovely bones

caught the show yesterday...i like it quite alright...i was super sleepy before the show and i managed to stay awake and glued to the screen all the way till the end..so that must say something about it...the show actually made death and the journey to heaven pretty creepy.. anyway while me n darren were in the cinema waiting for the show to begin.. this bunch of american teens came into the theatre..one girl jumped down the stairs and danced... while the others were just making hell a lot of noise, laughing and talking loudly...disrupting the silence in the theatre..we were irritated instantly.. this is just typical angmoh kids behaviour... why oh why do they just behave so badly... anyway they were still chatting amongst themselves loudly and some of them propped their (fat) legs up onto the seats in front of them.. 2 with their shoes on... they made fun of Singaporean ads and mimicked the singlish accent....and when this man walked to his seat near their (fat) legs.. he asked them to put their feet down.. one girl just said "you don't sit there!" and continued to air her (fat) legs on the seats in front of her....what the!!! that's fucking rude!! I was totally boiling when i witnessed the whole scene.. come on bloody american kids... or how the singaporeans will say si gin na that's just typical.. no wonder the whole world hates them...
parents and kids alike...fucked up attitudes and behaviours... even when i served them onboard... i know some people think that americans are so polite and all that but seriously.. they are not.. they are bloody condescending, inconsiderate and their accent plainly irritates the hell outta me... and worse of all.. they are CHEAPSKATES... i think people who deal with their business or money will agree... they think that their money is so big and act like they're the richest and most important clients in the world.. seriously wake up america.. your time is over....

so anyway to make a personal statement to our rebellion against the US... me n darren are going to boycott all american products for one whole month starting from today..no macdonalds, no shopping in diesel... no hollywood movies (we're switching to jack neo.. speculate which other freelance model/actress he tried his moves on. eeks) and NO COKE. Hopefully we will inspire others to follow this movement.

when cleo met nikki

darren and i brought my pom nikki to the pasir ris dog farm to visit our baby cleo..to kinda introduce them since they were gonna live together under one roof by the end of march (cleo's confined to her cage at the mo coz she's supposed to have another vaccination jab in a few weeks time...we can't bring her home yet! sob!) and guess what happened? firstly before she saw him, she was busy shredding this towel that was in her cage (she likes towels apparently, shredding the threads out i mean) and then when she saw nikki.. she immediately jumped up on her 2 hind paws and pounced on him!! luckily nikki was saved by her cage and the observation glass!! omg..then i placed nikki on the floor for him to walk around the pet shop and cleo's eyes NEVER left him for a second.. she eyed him walking left..then eyed him walking across... all the time waiting for a chance to eat him i suppose... terror!!! when she couldn't see him anymore.. she went back to biting her cage, her mat and her favourite towel....

and she's coming to my home in a few weeks time....omgggg... my furniture will be torn to shreds...